OH AUNTY DELIA....

Judging from the buzz going around the more food orientated corners of the interweb this morning it appears that I'm not the only one who was more than a little disappointed with Delia Smith's culinary shortcuts showcase last night.

And disappointed really is the key word for it. It would be very simple to get mad at a woman who many view as being both saint and sinner of the British Celebrity Chef world. In my eyes, Delia Smith has always stood out as being the rather staid headmistress of this rather unruly bunch, standing over the British public with wooden spoon ever ready to give us a healthy rap on the knuckles if we didn't follow her pastry making instructions just so. And unfortunately for her, if I'm looking to cook something tasty after a hard day slaving over the computer, I'm very unlikely to turn to one of her recipes-not because they've not been constructed with love and care, but mainly because to me they've always had the lingering stench of the school Home Economics kitchen hanging around over them.

So with such stiff competition from the likes of the Jamie "Fucking Hell I've got a Garden" Oliver's and cooing buxom Nigella Lawson's of this world, is it any wonder that "Delia" (eschewing her surname in favour of us referring to her on a friendlier first name basis nowadays) feels that she has to come out of self imposed retirement and return to our screens better, faster, and generally more "sexed up"? The Delia presented to us yesterday evening seemed to be a creature of two different personalities-the "Let's be 'aving you!" good time girl, who loved Norwich City and its ilk, as well as a glass or two of Sherry during a game set against a persona she undoubtedly felt much more comfortable with-the doughty little housewife, pottering around, dutifully making pies for her husband and ruling the household with an iron fist.



As for the recipes themselves....well. The overall aim of Delia is admirable-after all, she is the woman who convinced millions of people that making fresh, tasty food was not beyond their reach, even if they were incapable of boiling an egg. So why then such a fall from grace?

Now let's get one thing clear here. I am not against shortcuts per se. I was perhaps one of the few people to not manage to whip myself up into a self righteous fury over last year's Nigella Express (although this may be born out of my father referring to me recently as the "Nigella Lawson of South Manchester" a tag I am more than comfortable with, I must say). My cupboards at home are filled with tinned tomatoes, tinned chickpeas, dried herbs and vegetable bouillon powder. But are people really so strapped for time that they have to used tinned mince and frozen mashed potato? Particularly as these products undoubtedly cost more and undoubtedly lose their taste in the cooking and freezing process? For me at least, there's something soulless about this form of cookery. Instead of investing food with time love and care, it's reduced to no more than pricking the plastic cover on a ready meal.

If Delia Smith wants to invest a love of cooking in the nation, she should sit them down and explain to them how it's really done. That yes, it may take time and effort, but that the end product is infinately more satisfying-and yes, tastier too. So what if your cheese sauce turns out lumpy or your chocolate cake falls? Surely that's better than sticking in those awful hockey pucks of reconstituted Smash. Trial and Error is all part of the learning process. Unfortunately with this programme, all that Delia is doing here is making a lot of rich ready made food manufacturers a hell of a lot richer.